When Sugar Plums Attack…

I had a dream that toilets were banned for some reason, and everyone was forced to poop in jars from now on. That really has nothing to do with anything, it’s just what I dreamt this xmas morning, and this being my official holiday post, I thought I’d share it with all of you. The jars of poop were kept to be inspected by government people at a later date, but I woke up before I could find out why.

Kind of an odd thing to dream on such a popular holiday, but then, it’s kind of strange to worship a virgin birth of a bunny savior who hides eggs from the Philistines and travels the world on an enchanted deer chariot judging children for a day….I might have that slightly off, but you see where I’m going with this.

This is why I proposing an addition to this season of giving (after buying and buying and so on)…the giving of stool filled jars…complete with a decorative bow of course. What better way to end the evening of drinking with friends after escaping your family, than to drunkenly fill a mason jar with your own waste and then leave it on the doorstep of an unsuspecting stranger?
Ok….so there’s probably a million better ways to end the evening, but you can’t argue that what I propose isn’t more asinine than half of the strange customs we all carry out without question…well, you could argue the fact, but you’d be wrong, and then you’d owe me a turkey dinner and a massage.

In any case, the reason for this short little post was to wish each and every one of you out there a great and safe holiday, however you celebrate it!

But I still say we should add the poop jars to the season…..just sayin’.