An Insignificant History attracting Flies in the Sun



Yep, it's officially my birthday. Thanks to everyone who has wished me a happy one for the past few days, and a curse on those who haven't!! (don't worry too much, as stated in the previous Blog, the best I can do with curses is to make you fart in public)

And, in answering those who have asked what the hell Fish Day is: it's a fucking holiday!! So don't go to work. Let me explain....the first official Fish Day was in 1998, when I was living with my brother in State College Pennsylvania. I had only been there for a few months and didn't know too many people and definitely hadn't made any plans to do anything when my birthday rolled around. Second, I am sick to death of the birthday cliche' of birthdays being terrible and their subjects moping around as if they were just told that they had colon cancer. I refused to give into either.
So, the night before I created three Fish Day cards and had a few hundred of them reproduced at Kinkos, which is the place that I worked at the time.....which is a lot more like having colon cancer. I spent my birthday then, out in town handing cards to everyone I crossed paths with.




In addition to these cards, I had also created a handful of small postcards that contained suggestions on what to do on this day. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any survivors from this group, but I do remember a few:

Yell at the Birds to Get Out of the Sky.

Staple Raw Bacon to Yourself.

Try to Hug a Complete Stranger
For Thirty Minutes.

Tell Someone that your Fingers Hate Them,
Except for One, and then Show Them that Finger.

By the end of the day, in a town that I had previously known almost no one, I now knew (or at least was known by) a few hundred. Plus, I had been bought so much birthday coffee that I nearly shit myself as well as those around me.
I continued this tradition (of handing out the cards, not of nearly shitting myself and others....that tradition falls on Presidents Day) for the next few years. I have kind of slacked off the past couple of years. I would have tried to revive it this time, except for the fact that I'm currently in central Pennsylvania....and I really don't want to know the people here, let alone not wanting them to know me.

So, Happy Fish Day to you all!! May the Great Insect Overlord show you mercy and all of that.....oh, and since you asked, here is my super happy fun time wishlist again, for those of you who wish to celebrate this fine day by buying me a present:


My Amazon.com Wish List