In these days of blind commercialism and religious lethargy, most forget what ultimately started it all: the birth of everyone's savior, Cab Calloway on the banks of the river
Ultimately, Calloway would be betrayed by one of his closest followers, Vincent Van Gogh, who turned him in to the Romans, having blamed Calloway for the loss of his ear in the now infamous 'Salted Pork Incident'. His death now celebrated during Easter, where Van Gogh is represented as an egg-laying rabbit....probably due to the two perfect ears....take THAT Vincent!!
Sadly, Cab Calloway's life and achievements have been co-opted by an American born Jew named Jesus who later was responsible to the election of President Bush and the war on oil-owning Brown People, or as it became known later: Operation Fuck Calloway.
I for one refuse to give-in to these changes and hopes the world will join me today in celebrating this day properly by singing scat-carols around the Calloway Tree....except for
Happy Calloway Day to you all!!!