Say hello to my Dog Skin Coat

It has come to my attention, and to the attention of my friend and neighbor Clint, who, for those of you not in the know as of yet, lives in the apartment above mine, that a nearby house to ours has become the home to either a cult of chronic dog stabbers, or a cult of dog stabbers supply and lessons store. What I'm getting at here is the fact that screaming dogs are audible at intermitted moments throughout the night and morning.
Now, not only was I unaware that a cult of chronic dog stabbers or a cult of chronic dog stabbers supply and lessons store was legal, but I had no idea that it took so fucking long to kill a dog by repeated stabbings! Then again, I'm not a member of this cult, nor do I subscribe to it's truth be told, there may be some aspects of the dog stabber's techniques that I'm not familiar with that are implemented to prolong the dog stabbing experience.....such as using short bladed instruments in strategic, non-immediate-lethal areas of the canine's anatomy.

Actually....I'm now curious about what a Cult of Chronic Dog Stabbers Newsletter would be like. I can imagine someone getting caught owning many and trying to explain it away by saying, "I just get it for the articles!"'s clear that I need my morning coffee now, before I write anymore and hurt the feelings of any sensitive indy kids out there.